Important Questions, like: is ‘bed bugs’ a euphemism for an STD?

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Blogs by boys who ride bikes to their delivery jobs at Jimmy John’s

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A twerk is a unit of measurement: ‘on a scale of one to twerk’. A twerk is a seasonal baked good. A twerk is a currency used in Lithuania: the exchange rate is currently 2.55 twerks to the US dollar. A twerk is an annoyingly excitable person: ‘James is such a twerk.’

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(Source: beyoncevoters)

Someone get me a velour leisure suit, cause I am the lounging princess.

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Pussy Surfers

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A girl who can’t sleep because every night she is so angry.

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(Source: kitschydelight, via menstrualcramps)

The good ol’ days were before you were born. They were before I was born or any other person was born. The good ol’ days were before humans existed, even before our existence was metaphysically conceived. The good ol’ days were when dinosaurs roamed the earth, conspiring to overthrow Heavenly Father. Ahhh, the good ol’ days.

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Abercrombie & The Goldfinch

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He was best in the morning, when he first woke up, moonlight still caught on his skin. Rumpled hair, sheet mark patterns imprinted on one cheek. His eyes were always brightest then, a green that gradually faded in the morning hours.

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cosmic bending of the space-time continuum

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I count sheep every night when I can’t sleep. Zero. There are zero sheep here. I cry myself to sleep.

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First rule of Baby Fight Club: Don’t talk about Baby Fight Club. Or anything else. Don’t talk at all, because you’re a baby, and you have not yet developed the language skills necessary for communication.

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Have you ever felt sad? If so, how sad? Describe the sadness.

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