If you give a mouse a cookie, he will eventually rob you at gunpoint for more cookies because now he’s addicted and you created this monster. #trustnobitch
Mom was in my brother’s room searching for aloe vera gel and I walked in, picked up a button that read ‘I fuck to come, not to conceive’, made a “yikes” face, looked uneasily at my mom, put the button down, then quickly exited the room.
Annoying White Girls I Have Known:
What’s the difference between killing people and helping old ladies across the street?
My brother and his wife are getting sealed for time and all eternity today. So while you’re having fun, I’ll be sitting quietly in an all-white room in a slanty building in Dallas, watching a video about Heavenly Father’s Plan of Salvation, counting how many smiling white people it takes to complete a Mormon movie.